Post #3 of 50 posts for my 50th year.
Today I bought another knitting pattern.
It’s for a sweater.
I originally went online looking for a pattern for some yarn that I already own. I have a bunch of it, and I didn’t know what to do with it.
Then I saw this sweater pattern, and I thought, ooh!
So I bought it.
The problem is, the pattern is for a striped sweater, meaning I needed more of the same yarn but in a different color. So I went yarn shopping online. And bought some yarn.
And wouldn’t you know it, I needed another circular needle for the project, too.
All I wanted to do was to find something to do with the stuff I already had.
How do you know if a thought is a sign, a message, or maybe inspiration to act? And how do you know if it’s just wishful thinking?
How can you tell if a desire is born out of frustration, reaction or revenge? And how can you tell if it’s coming from your heart instead?
Much of the time, we don’t stop long enough to answer these questions. We act (or don’t act) when maybe we shouldn’t have (or actually should have) acted.
The more aware and present I become in my own life, the more I stop to ask these questions. Which is good…it’s a start at least.
I may stop to ask the questions, but sometimes I’m still so caught up in my head instead of my heart, that I second-guess the answers. Or sometimes I still can’t hear the answers, because I’m thinking too loudly, instead of feeling for it.
And other times, I completely forget to ask the questions.
The super-happy-positive-motivational thing to say here is that it’s okay, I have plenty of time, I have an amazing life, and there really are no wrong answers.
The reality is that I worry. About running out of time, about being a late-bloomer, about never hearing the “right” answers. About not doing what I was meant to do.
It’s like that sweater pattern, I guess. I manage to make things complicated. On the bright side, I can make myself a beautiful sweater. If I put my mind to it.