Into Each Toaster a Few Crumbs Must Fall…



We here at the Toast Party Headquarters are deeply saddened by the results of yesterday’s election. It’s true that we did switch from the Unicorn Party to supporting the Toast Platform late in the game, but that is our right as American citizens, no? It was our right to decide we wanted some crunchy, toasty goodness instead of more sparkles. It was our right to

So, here we are, the day after the 2016 United States Presidential Election. We are sad.

We’re not sad because the U.S. elected a total TOOL as the leader of the free world. We’re not sad because we were this close to our first female president and blew it. We’re not even sad that the DNC played dirty. And we’re not even sad because our new president is a misogynistic, racist TOOL. Nope, we are sad because we really wanted Toast to win.

Toast. That versatile, crunchy, good-for-your-soul food that everyone loves. At least, we thought everyone loved Toast. Our theory – people just don’t realize how wonderful Toast really is. The world needs more Toast.

So. Now what?

We keep going. We take a deep breath, we hug our cats and our kids and our sig oths, we go out and we continue to be the best people we can be. We continue to be nice to people. We continue to value laughter and love and we try to remember that we truly do need to be the change that we want to see. We teach school, we teach yoga, we help people, we buy healthy food and we listen to good music.

And we regroup.

That’s right, we get our shit together and envision a world where Toast rules.

I’m going to make it my personal crusade, starting today, to campaign for Toast 2020.

No matter if you like white bread, wheat, or rye, it all toasts up perfectly. Toast is great for breakfast, lunch or even dinner. It goes with everything. When you bite into that crisp, airy piece of toast, your heart can’t help but emit a little squeee of happiness.

We need to be breaking bread together, don’t you think? And what better way to come together with our brothers and sisters than to literally break a crunchy piece of bread together. Sharing a meal is a ritual, a bonding experience, a way to share and come together to focus on our similarities and some of the best parts of being human.

Toast 2020. I’m telling you, we are ready for this. Are you with me? We can do it. Be the love, be the change, eat more toast.