Welp, the 2015 Spring Coffee Tour is now just a distant memory, since I’ve been back 2 weeks. I don’t currently have a freelance writing assignment, but that doesn’t mean I haven’t been busy! There is no WAY I could ever, ever be bored. Too many things to do.
For example, I’ve decided to become more serious about a “yoga practice.” Meaning, simply, that I will actually go do yoga. So last week I went to 4 classes and will do that again this week, plus a little running / stair climbing. I can already tell a difference in how I feel. I finally found what will work for my body right now – which is not doing many activities that are too jarring. A combination of mental and physical work / discipline is exactly right for me at this moment. It feels great. However, yoga sure does make me a lot hungrier. I am HUNGRY I tell you…
I have been reading a very interesting book – “Story Wars” by Jonah Sachs. He’s a marketer, and the book is about… marketing. But he talks about marketing from a storytelling perspective. Those who tell the best stories will get their messages spread further. Apparently “storytelling” is big right now. Who knew? When I decided to use the whole “I tell stories” approach to how I describe what I’m doing now, I honestly had no idea it was currently a thing. Anyway it’s a very interesting book – it can apply to personal messages as well as large-scale advertising. I’m having a little trouble reading it though – part of me still feels guilty about sitting down to read a book. I mean, how unproductive! I’m trying, but these Desk Hamster roots run deep.
I am sort of at a crossroads here… What do I REALLY want to be doing? I know what I don’t want to be doing. That is very, very clear. I do not want to go back to being a Desk Hamster. I know this with every fiber of my being! So – what instead? Several things have come up as opportunities.
There is a new writing partner in the picture. Someone who, right after I met him, I could tell that this person and I were going to create something together. It’s going a little more slowly than I’d like, and it’s sort of changed forms, but I think long-term this will be a very good thing. A little more patience on my part is needed. However, I also know that if you have too much patience, nothing ever gets done. So at some point, screw the patience and let’s fucking get going already.
There is also a very large Business Opportunity coming my way. One that, the more we discuss it, the more it seems to be a really, really good idea. One that is bigger than anything I’ve ever attempted before (which to be fair, hasn’t been much up till now). It would require me to make a substantial financial contribution, take out a business loan with my partners, work my ass off for at least 18 months, and take more risk than I’ve ever felt comfortable in taking before. But it’s also a chance to make a meaningful contribution to my community while having fun and doing things I’m really interested in.
So what do I do with this? There are people in my life who would caution me against it. There are people who would cheer me on. But how do I really feel about it? This is where I discover I’m still a little rudderless. Or I’m still not able to trust my intuition 100%. Because what if it’s WRONG? But if I don’t try, I’ll never know. It’s a long term project but if we do it, it’s time to get started.
Meanwhile there are also termites to get rid of. And water leaks to fix. And mortgages to pay, groceries to buy… I’m covered, but the financial planner part of me hates to see any of those Net Worth numbers go down. So there’s still the balance between short-term gain and long-term goals, creative and practical… and the top of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs and the bottom.
I do know this: everything that has happened in the last 4 years since my mother’s death has led up to this crossroads. Everything I’ve seen and learned and felt and discovered and tried and didn’t try. I also know none of these things currently on my smorgasbord could have ever shown up if I hadn’t quit my job. It’s the start of something totally different… but what? I reckon I’ll find out soon enough. Till then – more yoga. And a snack.
My Dad reminded me the other day what my Grandma used to do when she needed to make a decision about something. I’ll tell you that story soon.