This one time, I was walking around in the grocery store looking for the sweet relish, and I got totally lost. I found the 2,000-roll econo pack of toilet paper, and the Even Cheezier Nacho Chips, and the box of healthy cereal that gets smaller and smaller while the price gets higher and higher… but still no sweet relish.

On I walked, past the moth balls, the fiber cereal bars, the nose hair trimmers, funfetti cake mix, and family packs of bologna… still no relish. I started to panic. What if I never find it? Or even worse, what if I never find my way out of this place??!?! My skin got clammy and I started to wheeze.

Then suddenly, right in front of the display of holiday themed store-baked cupcakes, a giant hole opened up in the floor. It was dark and a bit musty. But I didn’t care – it was a way out! I jumped in, feet first.
And out I came onto a beach in Belize, just like that. Sitting under a palm tree, in front of the ocean, a warm, fresh breeze on my face. My friend Ruddy appeared, with a fresh coconut, the top cut off, a straw dipped in to tap the sweet, fresh water inside. OK, I thought. I like this kind of shopping.

written 2014
@2014-2019, Andrea C. Neil